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Grandma Laqueta and Grandpa Gary come to visit the farm

Grandpa Grandma

Kona Earth Farm is a cool place to visit.  Literally, being 10 degrees cooler than Kailua makes the farm comfortable for visitors, even when Gary tries to make you work.  Warning: it takes age, experience, cunning and some deception to avoid Gary’s sly methods for putting visitors to work.

First, do not let him convince you that riding the lawnmower is fun.  Maybe it would be, on flat ground, but not through a field of lava.  If you hit a big rock or log, the mower head comes apart and you have to push the whole thing back to the barn for repairs.

Second, if he talks you into fertilizing, offer to start at the top and work downhill.  It is much easier and you can appear to cover a lot of area.

Third, herding goats is fun to watch, but in reality, it is a lot like herding cats only goats are bigger.  Pretend to go along!  Then just stand behind and watch the girls do it.  They are experts.

Fourth, don’t visit while Gary is building a barn.  Digging a foundation in a lava bed is hard work.

I failed miserably at each of the above points and paid the price in blisters, sore muscles and sunburn.

Emily Sarah Goats

Seriously, we confirmed that farming is hard work, even in “paradise”.  However, I am the DAD, so most afternoons we quit early and went to the beach.  Sarah and Emily also visited Laqueta and I at our hotel to play in the pool, feed the eels and go fishing.  “Papa Gary” always takes the girls fishing.  This time they caught a big perch and lots of lion fish.  The lion fish have poisonous spines, so Papa had to hold them with pliers while he removed the hook and returned the fish to the ocean.  Keeping the eels from stealing the bait was the major problem, but it sure was fun to watch.

Sarah Emily Lionfish Eels

The ten best things about visiting Kona Earth:
10.  Lilikoi, bananas, orchids, hibiscus and coffee blossoms.  Peacocks, kittens, chickens, bunnies, birds, goats and Teela.
9.  A rainy afternoon movie matinee with Grandma Laqueta, Sarah, Emily and “Papa”.
8.  Snorkeling in the warm Pacific.
7.  Watching Grandma Laqueta, Sarah and Emily feed the eels.
6.  Helping Sarah and Emily catch fish (and sometimes eels).
5.  Hiking with Ranger “BG” to a secret Lava Tube in Volcanoes National Park.
4.  Attending Emily’s soccer practice at their school with a panoramic view of the Pacific in the background.
3.  Watching Sarah and Emily heard the goats.
2.  Hiding Easter eggs in the chicken coop on April 1 then watching Sarah’s and Emily’s surprise when they found them.
1.  Helping to build a barn and getting to bitch about it.

Thank you Gary, Valerie, Sarah and Emily for your warm hospitality!

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